You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine
up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can
try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your
call, it means the machine did not work.

C'mon... you can do it... just a little one.
That's the way... just a little beep, just a
little one. C'mon... good boy... here we go...
like this -- beeeeep, just a little one,
beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon... There you go!

Hi, this is John's answering machine. He's not
here, but I'm open to suggestions.

Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's
gone and left me for a sleazy microwave he met at
Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.
(or)
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is
his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and
I'll stick your message to myself with one of
these magnets.
(or)
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering
machine is in the shop for repairs, so please
leave your message when the toast is done...
(Cachunk!)

Voice 1: Answer the phone, please, Hal.
Voice 2: I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that.

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable
of receiving messages. My owners do not need
siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets
are clean. They give to charity through the
office and don't need their picture taken. If
you're still with me, leave your name and number
and they will get back to you.